I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
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