Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
