My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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