Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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