They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
