I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
