Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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