you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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