he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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