the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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