whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
