Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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