You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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