my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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