we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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