Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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