new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize
