Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
50% drunk capacity currently
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I had to cum in my sink.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize