his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
