I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
