We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
