You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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