Dual....:-)
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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