You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
