I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Randomize
