Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
