Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
