sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
