I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
