this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
