Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
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