I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
