4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Randomize
