im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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