she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Randomize
