Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
