my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
