PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
