Dude my mom stole all your condoms
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
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