I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Randomize
