I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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