i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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