I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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