I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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