Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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