so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
