dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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