I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
