She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
