I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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