Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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